We all have fears. Some are rationale. For example, people in that city that had 25 wild animals on the loose last week were afraid to go outside until they were all captured or killed. Some are not. Like the fear I had at the dentist last week.
I needed a root canal. I've had several in my lifetime but my memories of the last one were not good. It wasn't the procedure I feared. It was the test the last dentist used to determine which tooth needed his attention. "I'm going to touch a tooth," he said. "Put your hand up if you feel pain." First tooth he touched, no problem. The second one sent a shooting pain unlike anything I had ever experienced. I actually kicked the light above me.
So I was nervous going into this appointment. I prepared all my strategies. Told myself it was going to be easy and painless. Brought earphones so I could listen to a soothing hypnosis tape I had. Asked the dental assistant about the details (I like to know what's happening). Told myself that even if there was a problem, it would be to step back and observe what worked for me so i could help others. That was the plan.
What I didn't expect was that I would freak out when they put some plastic thing over my mouth to isolate the tooth and protect me from whatever chemicals they were using. It wasn't painful. But I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had them take it off as I gasped for breath, shaking like a leaf. I could breathe, of course, but it had triggered an irrational fear of being trapped, of claustrophia (I blame my brother Joe for this who trapped me in a rug when we were playing as kids!).
Whatever the reason, I told them I couldn't do it that way. Could they try another method? That's when the kindness should have kicked in. I was coldly told that there was no other way, that it would violate medical procedure, that no one would do it for me. Not one word of kindness for someone obviously upset (and embarrassed). I took a few deep breaths, realized that I had to get this done or there would be a toothache soon that would be worse and asked if they would try it again. She put it back on...but this time didn't cover my upper lip. I said I was ok and put my hypnosis tape on to guide me through the comforting journey of imagining I was at my favorite beach. She muttered to her assistant, probably thinking I could hear her, "It's exactly like I had it."
I apologized when I was done although I hadn't been rude, just experiencing an irrational fear. No comment. I got through it with breathing and visualing my favorite beach, using my imagination to sense every detail of that place. It took a bit of courage, a strategy or two and I got out. There was no pain during the procedure and very little after so kudos to them for a good job, medically speaking.
But would it have hurt to be kind? They're in a job where the actually hurt people in the quest to heal them. Kindness should be a given. I believe kindness is worth striving for in all circumstances. Ellen DeGeneres bases her show on kindness. Our immune system gets a boost when we do or observe an act of kindness. Our brains even get a boost of seratonin with kindness.
I like Dr. Wayne Dyer's quote best of all. "Given a choice between being right and kindness, always choose kindness." Let's think about living that way.
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