The news is certainly not positive these days here in the US. I'm not sure how the economy is faring with my Australian and European friends but here we're certainly running into challenges. How to cope? Here are my favorite tips for dealing with difficult times:
1. Stop watching the negative news. News is negative to attract our attention. But so does an accident and you don't want to watch that all day. The news is not really all that's going on but a list of all the negative and tragic things that happened in the past 24 hours
2. Start looking for solutions rather than focusing on the things that are out of your control like gas prices, the housing crisis, the rising cost of food, etc. The best way to do this is to ask yourself questions rather than making unproductive statements. What do I mean by this? Instead of, "The price of gas is out of control!" ask yourelf, "What can I do to cut down my gas usage this week?" or "How can I combine errands to maximize gas usage?" or "Who can I carpool with to work, ferry the kids, to the stores?" When you move from statements to questions, everything changes. Statements make you feel like you have no control over your own life. But ask a question and your brain supplies you with lots of possibilities. The better the question (add in 'what can I do to make that fun'), the better the results.
3. If money is tight, you can sell some of the extra things you have around the house on EBay. It's the best way to clear out the clutter in your life and make some money on the side. Not a member of Ebay? Join here.
More tips in the coming weeks...stay positive!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Rewind...
Nowadays the gadgets we use all seem to have a rewind button. Online and lose your web site? Hit the 'back button' Watching TV and miss something? Hit rewind on the DVR or Tivo. Even Microsoft programs have a button where you can 'undo' what you just did. I'm so used to rewinding that it seems I should be able to do it all the time.
But real life has no rewinds. The words we say we can't take back. The opportunities we miss may not come our way again. The people who we fail to stay in touch with may not be around when we want or need them to be.
So what to do?
Make the most we can out of every opportunity we can manage. Oprah's book club selection "The New Earth" says we only have the present and that's certainly true. Living in the present moment - rather than wishing we had what was in the past or always wishing some future event was already here - does provide the most immediate enjoyment. It's not an easy thing to do for most of us who are in a programmed unconscious state a good deal of the time. We miss what's going on and wish we could rewind...to get back the days, the events, the memories we missed.
But like all other strategies...it can be learned and really can bring an enhanced level to life. So I hope you're enjoying and learning something this present moment that you're reading this...but just in case you missed something here...in this case, you can 'rewind' and go back and read it later. That's what archives are for (you'l find them by scrolling down the right side of this blog)
Have a wonderful week!
But real life has no rewinds. The words we say we can't take back. The opportunities we miss may not come our way again. The people who we fail to stay in touch with may not be around when we want or need them to be.
So what to do?
Make the most we can out of every opportunity we can manage. Oprah's book club selection "The New Earth" says we only have the present and that's certainly true. Living in the present moment - rather than wishing we had what was in the past or always wishing some future event was already here - does provide the most immediate enjoyment. It's not an easy thing to do for most of us who are in a programmed unconscious state a good deal of the time. We miss what's going on and wish we could rewind...to get back the days, the events, the memories we missed.
But like all other strategies...it can be learned and really can bring an enhanced level to life. So I hope you're enjoying and learning something this present moment that you're reading this...but just in case you missed something here...in this case, you can 'rewind' and go back and read it later. That's what archives are for (you'l find them by scrolling down the right side of this blog)
Have a wonderful week!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Nails in the fence
Here is another story that someone sent me by email. A great message again!
"There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.'
Show your friends how much you care. Send a link to this blog to everyone you consider a FRIEND and to your family (they need to know that you love them too). You are my friend and I am honored.
P.S. Please forgive me if I have ever left a “hole” in your fence
"There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.'
Show your friends how much you care. Send a link to this blog to everyone you consider a FRIEND and to your family (they need to know that you love them too). You are my friend and I am honored.
P.S. Please forgive me if I have ever left a “hole” in your fence
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Attitude
This was from a recent email that was forwarded many times...I like the message...
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time How do you do it?'
He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.
'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins..Wanna see my scars?'
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'
'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked
He continued, '..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'
'What did you do?' I asked.
'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time How do you do it?'
He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.
'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins..Wanna see my scars?'
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'
'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked
He continued, '..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'
'What did you do?' I asked.
'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Role Models
Do you have role models?
People who have certain characteristics you wish you could have? I do. In fact I
have several to match all the different interests and goals I have for my life.
Anyone who knows me knows that Oprah Winfrey is one of my role models. I admire her for what she's achieved and how she's achieved it. I admire her character, her contribution toothers around the world and so much more.
Tony Robbins is another role model because of his energy, his passion for
life and his ability to communicate and inspire.
When I was teaching my 'Strategies of Success' class, some of my students were not comfortable withthe idea of a role model. They felt that they wanted to be their own
individual person and not mimic someone else's life. I'm not surethey truly understood how beneficial role models are. I don't want to BE Oprah, I just want to model some of her traits. As Tony Robbins often says, "Success leaves clues."
Why not use those clues and make them fit your life?
Who do you admire? Who acts in a way you wish you could...or has achieved something you wish you had? Your role model doesn't have to be famous. One of my newest role
models is a friend of mine who keeps an impeccable house, something that has always been a challenge for me because I'm so easily sidetracked by other things. But now I put on my "inner Joyce", modeling the way she keeps things organized and neat.
And guess what? Now that I have an 'inner Joyce', my house is neat too!
What do you want to change in your life? Who can you model? You can change the things you want to change if you follow the role models that are all around us...we just have to look and learn.
Marianne
p.s....thanks Joyce...you rock!
People who have certain characteristics you wish you could have? I do. In fact I
have several to match all the different interests and goals I have for my life.
Anyone who knows me knows that Oprah Winfrey is one of my role models. I admire her for what she's achieved and how she's achieved it. I admire her character, her contribution toothers around the world and so much more.
Tony Robbins is another role model because of his energy, his passion for
life and his ability to communicate and inspire.
When I was teaching my 'Strategies of Success' class, some of my students were not comfortable withthe idea of a role model. They felt that they wanted to be their own
individual person and not mimic someone else's life. I'm not surethey truly understood how beneficial role models are. I don't want to BE Oprah, I just want to model some of her traits. As Tony Robbins often says, "Success leaves clues."
Why not use those clues and make them fit your life?
Who do you admire? Who acts in a way you wish you could...or has achieved something you wish you had? Your role model doesn't have to be famous. One of my newest role
models is a friend of mine who keeps an impeccable house, something that has always been a challenge for me because I'm so easily sidetracked by other things. But now I put on my "inner Joyce", modeling the way she keeps things organized and neat.
And guess what? Now that I have an 'inner Joyce', my house is neat too!
What do you want to change in your life? Who can you model? You can change the things you want to change if you follow the role models that are all around us...we just have to look and learn.
Marianne
p.s....thanks Joyce...you rock!
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