I see you!

I just got back from speaking at the Safe Schools Conference at Sacred Heart University in Connecticut sponsored by the National Crime Prevention Council.  My goal was to share how the Strategies for Success program can work in any district because it was created to empower, inspire and educate teens.  But one of the main things I focused on is that we have many lost kids these days, lost for many reasons - bullied, ignored, phubbed (the new term for people not paying attention to someone because they're looking at their phone) and feeling poorly about themselves because of their home life, how they think the rest of the world according to social media posts and many other issues.

The bottom line is that we all need to be seen, to know we matter.  I remember Oprah saying something like this years ago but it really resonated with me as I prepped for this conference.  I looked at all the shooters who committed this horrible tragedies and wondered if they knew they mattered.  Did someone take the time to say, "I see you" and you're worth it or were they among the ignored?

Whatever the reason, I think it's time right now for each of us to tell and show the people in our lives that they matter, that you see and appreciate them.  It's not a job for one person but for each home, each school, each business, each community.  If we reach out and spread that word, then we have a better chance of reaching all those who feel unseen.  All it takes it a simple hello, a thank you, a smile.

Quick story.  I stopped at the highway rest and food stop in Milford, CT.  I wanted to go to Cheeseboy which sounds silly but actually has the nicest people and wonderful food - home made soups and freshly made pannini type sandwiches with of course, cheese.  I handed out a "Thank a Shining Star" card to the woman who waited on me because she was so good at her job and very pleasant.  She was so excited to get it, that she ran back to show her manager.  A few minutes later, he came out, saw me and exclaimed, 'It's you!  I have the card you gave me last year from a different location. You're an angel!  You change lives!"  All for recognizing their kindness, great attitude and good service.

Join me?  Get out there and SEE people!!  They'll love it and so will you!

Make someone's day today

 I'm prepping to speak at a safe schools conference in late October so my ears and eyes have been attuned to what our kids need to feel safe, supported, and empowered. I believe the most important thing is for our kids to know they matter. 

We all need that. To be seen. To be heard. While we may not have been able to stop the tragedies that happened, we may be able to prevent the next one. We can all do our part to let the people in our lives feel heard. And we can choose how we interact with the strangers who cross our path.  

It can be as simple as a smile or a thank you.  A look in the eye versus phubbing which is the new word to describe ignoring or snubbing people by looking at your phone.  

Sound too simplistic? Perhaps... but I know it works because it was part of my work with teens for many years. As a classroom high school math teacher I made a point of greeting or smiling at each student every day. My Strategies for Success classes included a daily high five mainly because it gave everyone a chance to see and be seen by everyone else. Although resistant at first, students learned to love that little touch and never let me skip over it.  For some it was the only positive moment of the day. 

It was important especially in the awkward teen years. Many students have very challenging home lives. Even those teens who seem the most together have doubts about their looks, their worthiness, their place. 

So while everyone debates gun control and mental health issues, how about we all step up and make sure we let those we love know we care. And for those strangers that cross our paths? Chose to be positive rather than indifferent or hostile. You never know what kind of day they're having. Your interaction - positive or negative - might make all the difference in the world. 

New beginnings

Last week was a total lunar eclipse, something that won't be repeated until 2033.  There were lots of posts on social media explaining the significance of the event but all seemed to focus on the fact that an eclipse like that ushers in big changes.

I don't know who decides the meanings of events like this but I understand the value in attaching meaning to events that are experienced by great numbers of people.  A perfect example is New Year's Day which is associated with creating new resolutions. People of many cultures and from many countries use New Year's eve or New Year's day for making big changes in their lives. Another is the beginning of the school year.

In reality we can choose any moment as a starting point for whatever change we want to make. It's one of the many things we get to choose that maybe were not even really consciously aware of. I chose this quote today because we get to decide today as we wake up and start the day who we want to be, how we want to live our lives, how we want to look at any situation. It doesn't matter how we lived yesterday, last week last month. Today is a brand-new slate for whoever we want to be.

What changes would you like to make right now? Who do you want to be today? Someone who is patient, kind, happy? Someone who sees the beauty in this amazing world we live in? Someone who focuses on what's good about a situation versus what's wrong with it? It's all up to you. It always has been. Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, we have had the power all along. So go out and have yourself a kind of day you most want whatever you end up doing.  Have a wonderful day!