Happy Holidays!

Now that I've gotten my email squared away again on AOL, I can go back to sending newsletters. I've missed writing but have gathered a few thoughts to share with you this holiday season!

1. Keep your spirits high. Stay as far away from all the negative news as you can and revel in the joys that this time of year provides - get togethers with friends and family, beautiful decorations to see (remember you don't have to own them to enjoy them), foods made for celebrating, time off.

2. Help those around you if you can afford the time and money. Frequent the little shops and restaurants who need your business to survive (one of my favorite little health food stores closed recently and the newspaper reported that if each customer had spent only $15 more dollars there a week, they would have survived!), donate to the local food bank if you can. help a neighbor shovel out their driveway (a big
thank you to my former student Chris who plowed me out of over a foot of snow this past Saturday even though he had been up all night and was swamped with work! Great to see you again!!)

3. Shop and help kickstart our economy. If you have the money - and not everyone does to be sure - spend some and help keep people's jobs. I heard this on CBS Sunday morning. Don't let the news make you think that things are worse than they are. Part of the downfall of the economy is the rumor factor. If you can afford to spend (not run up credit card charges), do so and do your part to get things going.

4. Send a greeting card to someone who isn't expecting one. My former sister-in-law who is in the military gave this address to send to a soldier recuperating. Find an organization in your country that might benefit from something as simple as a greeting card. Here's the address she gave:
A recovering American soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20307-5001

5. Decide to make 2009 your best year ever despite the news, despite resolutions that tend to fail, despite anything that has happened in your past. We human are capable of so much more than we often realize. Often all it takes to create the lives we want for ourselves is to just decide. I've made that decision for 2009 and have made the commitment to share what I've been lucky enough to learn these past months and years with others so that they to can create happy, healthy, and prosperous lives for themselves and those they care about.

Happy Holdays!

Breaking the routine

Routine is good because it keeps us organized and allows us to have parts of our day that don't require planning and thinking.

Routine is bad because it makes us feel stuck, uninspired, and bored.

So we need routine but we also need to break out of it every now and then. How we do that varies with the person and the situation. But we need to to break free occasionally. Shaking up our lives even a little bit adds spark ane excitement to the more mundane parts of life. Freeing ourselves from routine makes us feel more alive.

Today I broke out. And I fought it all the way. I'm in New Jersey tonight taking a seminar I paid for 3 years ago. I wanted this badly then but so much has changed in my life since then that it hasn't felt that compelling. But I paid plenty for it and couldn't waste that money. It just felt easier to stay close to home, not stretch my mind, stay comfortable. Maybe it was because I was home sick a week ago and didn't do anything more than watch TV for a week. Maybe I was just experiencing a bit of laziness.

I didn't want to go...even had a toothache yesterday which could have made me cancel. But here I am...and even before I take the seminar, I'm so glad I'm here. Why? Because I found the me I most like to be...the one that takes risks, the one that wants to grow and learn, the one that wants to help people. I found her about 2hours into the trip when I was far enough from home that it wasn't worth turning back. When the excitement I love about traveling began to overtake the shy woman who wanted to just be home. I loved the excitment of not knowing what's ahead on the highway...the truck I passed full of Christmas trees, the snow flakes that began to flurry just a bit on the Garden State Parkway, the view of the Atlantic Ocean from my window. This is not routine...this is a challenge...and this is feeling alive, at least for me.

What can you do to shake up your routine? Even in tough times - economic and otherwise - we can find a way to change the way we do things - go a different way, meet some friends we haven't seen, find something fun and funny to do. Don't let times and circumstances, habit and routine steal the joy and excitement hiding within. Break out!!

Being prepared...and other random thoughts

Hi Everyone!

Been on the road a bit lately so I haven't had the time to write these. Here are some random lessons learned lately:

* What you worry about is a waste of time! I had a great reminder of this recently. I was worried about taking my jacket off during the security check at the airport recently because I had to belt my pants that were too loose and it looked funny. That was the least of my worries! As I got through security, one of the agents came over and asked to speak to me. "Were my jeans new?" She asked. Puzzled, I said yes. Why? Because there was a HUGE tag on my behind with the size and price on it!!! Yikes!!

* Remember your goals. I recently achieved a goal I've had for a long time. While the goal was happening, I started to focus on some things that were not exactly as I had envisioned. I even began to feel a bit sad. What??? Then I remembered what my original goal was and realized that I got exactly what I asked for. And loved every minute of it! Don't get sidetracked...when you reach a goal, be in the moment, be grateful and enjoy it!

* Be prepared. If you're someone on my list from the US, tomorrow will challenge your patience. With the passion that the presidential election has stirred up, the lines at the polls promise to be quite long. Be prepared to wait - bring something to do in line, bring a lightweight chair if it's difficult to stand for a long time, wear comfortable shoes, bring a snack. Plan for the time in line to be long and be pleasantly surprised if it isn't because the best way to be prepared is to bring the right attitude. And have fun in line....get to know your neighbors!

Please vote tomorrow! Don't assume anything about this election whatever your position!

Have a great week!

Balance in these challenging times

Hi Everyone,

We definitely are living through some uncertain times here in the US and also in other parts of the world. Between the financial upheaval and the tumultuous election, it's hard to know which way to turn or what to believe.

A statistic on the news yesterday said 80% of the people surveyed were more stressed than they have ever been. I was surprised it wasn't higher with all the news flooding every brain cell of our body from every direction.

So what to do? We need to strike a balance or we'll all stress ourselves into oblivion. But where do we find the positive to be the counter point to all the negative news?

Here are a few things to think about:

1. Worry about the negative accomplishes nothing. 90% of what we worry about either never happens or is out of our control anyway so why do it?

2. Tough times offer the time we can grow and learn the most about ourselves and what we're truly capable of

3. In tough times are great opportunities if we look for them instead of overstressing with worry or burying our heads in the sand

Ok...even if all of the above is true, how do we cope, practically speaking?

1. Cut back on negative news from newspapers, blackberries, television, radio and the internet. They have hours to fill up each day and tend to rehash the same negative news over and over. Find out what's going on and move on.

2. Soak in the positive whether it's being around positive people, reading inspirational books, or listening to motivational CD's. The world has always had tough times but people have always found a way to survive and thrive. Find out how others did it.

3. Prepare yourself for the worse and then move on to regular life.

4. Brush up on your skills. The more you know, the more you're able to do, the better you feel about yourself and the more valuable you are to your employers, family and friends.

5. Renew your friendships by doing fun, inexpensive things. Nothing more valuable than being around friends and family who you love and who love you.

6. Focus on what you're grateful for even more now. Yes, there are plenty of things to be concerned about but there are still many more things to be grateful for. Before you go to sleep each night, think about all the things big and small that you're grateful for from that day. Redo the events in your mind that didn't work and imagine them as positive events.

8. Start each day with visualizing the day ahead going well. Sure beats picturing yourself tripping out the door, dropping everything and having everything go wrong.

More on this in the next newsletter where I'll be gathering sources for positive news...

Take care and be well!

Simplicity

Life has gotten very complicated lately for most of us. So much to do, so little time. Overwhelming at times if we’re not careful. Scary if we expose ourselves to the news too often. And the news these days is not easy to take.

Seems that it was easier years ago. Many of us have forgotten some of the simple pleasures as we run from one commitment to another, juggling jobs, children, work and more.

I got to see some of those simple pleasures in action this weekend. I was lucky enough to spend time in rural Maine at the house of my dear friend and due to the kindness of her husband. Close to her house is the annual MOFGA (Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association) Country Fair. Going to the fair was like stepping back to a time when people valued the simplicity of a prize winning tomato or a horse. Where children with their families were oohing and aahing over the big pumpkins. Where a child has fun just kicking a rock. Where fresh air and home grown food, school bands and bicycle parades are enjoyed and shared. It was truly wonderful.

My simplicity was by choice. I chose to stay at a house that had only 4 television stations, no internet and no cell phone service. It was a nice respite from my normal plugged in life with the TV blaring, the laptop cranking and a phone ringing behind me. I got to choose to have the simple life for a few days unlike those people in Galveston, Texas who are still struggling without power, some without the house and possessions that had been so much a part of who they were. Or those in many other parts of the world who have so many other challenges to deal with. I got to choose…and I’m grateful.

It all comes down to the basics…fresh air, water, shelter, food, friends and family. If we have those, if have peace, the rest is just stuff. Stuff that we might be able to do without, that we can donate to those who need it more than us, stuff that sometimes is more clutter than benefit both mental and physical.

Embrace simplicity…whether you choose it or it chooses you. Its benefits are often more than we could have imagined.

I need a strategy!!!

I'm having one of those days...you know the kind I mean. When the littlest things seem to go awry and create aggravation. I know a lot of people on this list think I never get frustrated, never get bored, never have problems. After all, I'm the Strategies for Success author, the newsletter writer, the life coach to many.

I have problems just like everyone else - my laptop just starts capitalizing and highlighting without notice, my new toilet has decided it doesn't always want to flush, and the program I'm using to design someone's web site is having temper tantrums. The news is terrible today as it often is with financial failures, a bombing of an embassy and ridiculous political advertising when what we need are clear cut plans, true vision, answers to the problems that plague us, and optimism.

And for the life of me, I can't figure out an iPod!!! I can fly an airplane...I am truly a license private pilot and computer techie...but I cannot load an iPod!!!

Ok...enough ranting and complaining. Here's what I've learned that might help you too.

1. Vent if you must but keep the venting to a bare minimum. This newsletter is my one and only vent so I'm done venting since I'm now in solution mode.
2. Have a list of things handy that you know cheer you up. One of my simple favorites is to view the contented baby I found on YouTube...scroll to the bottom of the page if you haven't seen him yet.
3. Step away from what bothers you if you're able to. I'm stepping away from technology - the iPod from hell, its cousin the laptop with issues and the TV with all its gloom and doom. I'm going to go outside and find a place that makes me happy...a walk to a coffee shop perhaps, under the trees in a local park or one of my favorites, the bay.
4. Get together, call or email people that make you laugh or at least make you feel better.

I used to have my students fill out 3 index cards to keep for days like this. One lists the 10 things that instantly change how you feel, one lists 10 things that make you laugh out loud and one lists 10 things you're grateful for. Keep them handy for days when you most need them...and there seem to be plenty of days that call for strategies.

One final tip...spend at least as much time focusing on what's good in your life, good in the world and what great things are possible in the future as you do on what's going wrong.

Oh yeah...and if you know how to load an Ipod, would you fill me in...please!!

Random thoughts from the Olympics

The spectacular recently concluded Olympics had many lessons for life...here are just a few of them...

* "You don't have to put an age limit on your dreams." Dara Torres, 41 year old swimmer who missed the gold by .01 of a second

* "...to those who take big risks there are big rewards, " said the announcer as the woman from Romania won the woman's marathon. She had broken from the pack of runners early and established a lead that was impossible for the others to overcome.

* Siblings can support each other while competing even at the highest levels as evidenced by tennis players Venus and Serena Williams who motivate each other with positive messages prior to each match, even the ones where they play each other.

* Using your imagination to visualize success is a very powerful strategy as shared by Michael Phelp's coach Bob Bowman who taught him at an early age that it's something that winners do.

* The Olympic flame, whatever it means to us - success, one world, achievement, following our dreams - burns inside everybody (every body)

* Teamwork lives - in the athletic arena, within the thousands who created the amazing displays for the opening and closing ceremonies

* We are not that different wherever we're from. We are all proud of our countries as is evidenced on the medal stands as the athletes listened to their own national anthem while mouthing the words and holding back tears.

* We all want our moment to shine, to be noticed just like the athletes who took a moment to smile and mug for the TV cameras as they gathered as one in the closing ceremonies.

Stepping out of my comfort zone...as the Fairy Godmother

Whew! Stepping out of your comfort zone...it's not for sissies! But it's so worth it.


As I wrote previously, I took on the part of the Fairy Godmother this summer with a theatre company that I've worked for on and off for many years. This year, I'm choosing to take on one goal a month and the month of July was to try to get my singing voice back. I hadn't sung in over 5 years and working from home, I think I hadn't talked enough to stretch the vocal cords. So when "Cinderella" approached me at the 30 year anniversary of the theatre company and asked me to consider being the Fairy Godmother, I actually considered it.

Was it scary? You bet. We opened yesterday in the second show (Cinderella Too: The Royal Wedding) in which the only person on stage for the first 10 minutes of the show is me...and most of it is singing! Was it worth it? Oh yes...and not for the reasons you might think. It was worth it because of the people I met and the children who I got to meet after the shows who believe in the magic of live theatre. It was worth it because I got to change a negative belief I had about myself...that I had somehow ruined my voice and would never be able to sing again. It was worth it because we truly feel alive when we take on a challenge and succeed at it.

So what challenges are you thinking about and maybe hesitating over?

Are you one of the teachers who have been in my sessions and wondered if you too could try some of the out of the box suggestions that I mentioned? Try them...I was nervous when I first tried them too...but they changed the way I taught and the way my students responded and succeeded.

Are you one of my former students needing to try something new that you don't feel totally confident about? If it's something you truly want to do, give it a try. At least you won't have 1000 people watching you while you do it like I did yesterday...that should make it a bit easier to attempt!

Whoever you are, former student, teacher, regular subscriber...take the chance, take the plunge, take a small step or a big one...and live the life you truly want. The rewards when we reach are bigger than even we can imagine...

Fairy Godmother Marianne

PS...and a big thank you to Jillian...an amazingly beautiful and talented woman who truly is Cinderella in my heart! As she told me early on in rehearsals, "I've got your back" and she never let me down! What an inspiration you are!!

Teamwork...and leaving a legacy...

It's been a long time since I've written and I apologize for that. Life has been very busy this spring but it's a good busy....school visits, lots of friendship renewals, new friends and the chance to be on a committee to honor a theatre company that I've been privileged to be a part of for many years.

Lots of random thoughts to share...

1. Teamwork really does work. The committee was made up of 15 strong minded people who alone were quite impressive. But as a team, the result was magical! Who can you find to team up with these challenging days? Not only does the energy rise but so does the productivity...not to mention the level of fun!!

2. Don't have a team? Then decide what it is you really want, focus your energy and work hard to get what you want out of life. I've been watching the bumble bees gather honey off the rhododendron flowers outside my office window. Boy do they work hard!! Sure do inspire me!

3. Live a life that is worth remembering. We in the US just lost one of our much respected political journalists, Tim Russert. Everyone talked about how tough and fair he was as a boss, co-worker, and interviewer. But they talked even more about what a mentor, friend, father and husband he was. He loved his family, loved his job, loved mentoring his co-workers. He knew all their kid's names and never failed to touch base with them all regularly. He leaves a legacy of what a great man, a great human being really is. I've learned a lot that I will try to emulate.

4. Lots of negative news these days. Learn what you need to get through each day but don't let that be all you hear and read. Make sure you fill your tank with gratitude, positive people, and fun too...

Saving on gas

I never saw it coming…

That’s what a person interviewed on the Today show said in reference to how rising gas prices affect his SUV.

We’re delusional. We often remark how teens do rash things because they feel that nothing will ever happen to them. We as adults at least in the US do the same thing. We act as though everything we have will last forever, that nothing has consequences. Well gas had to become in short supply at some point. Guess everyone figured it will be so far into the future that it wouldn’t matter and that we could just use it without any thought or consideration. We closed our eyes to the reality of the supply being limited and the demand that would arise from China. We pretended that it wasn’t a possibility. Did we at least prepare by being prudent with our supply? No, we bought SUV’s! Even Hummers! Now we’re shocked, unprepared, and at a loss with how to cope.

Ok, this is a success column so it’s time to talk about solutions.
Here some great new sites to help you in your search for a better price on gas:

1. Fine the lowest prices in your area as well as the nation with Mapquest. Go to http://gasprices.mapquest.com

2. Submit your bargains to Gas Buddy at http://www.gasbuddy.com

3. Calculate how much gas you need from a trip at http://www.fuelcostcalculator.com

Times are challenging right now no doubt about it. But we have choices on how to approach our lives right now. We can be smart and make good choices. And we must do our best to be optimistic despite the difficulties. How? Focus as much as you can on what you're grateful for, the great things that you DO have in your life rather than on what's not going well.

I highly recommend watching a PBS special that is running this month. Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about the Power of Intention. It may open up your mind to how we can all create better lives for ourselves.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Managing tough times

The news is certainly not positive these days here in the US. I'm not sure how the economy is faring with my Australian and European friends but here we're certainly running into challenges. How to cope? Here are my favorite tips for dealing with difficult times:

1. Stop watching the negative news. News is negative to attract our attention. But so does an accident and you don't want to watch that all day. The news is not really all that's going on but a list of all the negative and tragic things that happened in the past 24 hours

2. Start looking for solutions rather than focusing on the things that are out of your control like gas prices, the housing crisis, the rising cost of food, etc. The best way to do this is to ask yourself questions rather than making unproductive statements. What do I mean by this? Instead of, "The price of gas is out of control!" ask yourelf, "What can I do to cut down my gas usage this week?" or "How can I combine errands to maximize gas usage?" or "Who can I carpool with to work, ferry the kids, to the stores?" When you move from statements to questions, everything changes. Statements make you feel like you have no control over your own life. But ask a question and your brain supplies you with lots of possibilities. The better the question (add in 'what can I do to make that fun'), the better the results.

3. If money is tight, you can sell some of the extra things you have around the house on EBay. It's the best way to clear out the clutter in your life and make some money on the side. Not a member of Ebay? Join here.

More tips in the coming weeks...stay positive!

Rewind...

Nowadays the gadgets we use all seem to have a rewind button. Online and lose your web site? Hit the 'back button' Watching TV and miss something? Hit rewind on the DVR or Tivo. Even Microsoft programs have a button where you can 'undo' what you just did. I'm so used to rewinding that it seems I should be able to do it all the time.

But real life has no rewinds. The words we say we can't take back. The opportunities we miss may not come our way again. The people who we fail to stay in touch with may not be around when we want or need them to be.

So what to do?

Make the most we can out of every opportunity we can manage. Oprah's book club selection "The New Earth" says we only have the present and that's certainly true. Living in the present moment - rather than wishing we had what was in the past or always wishing some future event was already here - does provide the most immediate enjoyment. It's not an easy thing to do for most of us who are in a programmed unconscious state a good deal of the time. We miss what's going on and wish we could rewind...to get back the days, the events, the memories we missed.

But like all other strategies...it can be learned and really can bring an enhanced level to life. So I hope you're enjoying and learning something this present moment that you're reading this...but just in case you missed something here...in this case, you can 'rewind' and go back and read it later. That's what archives are for (you'l find them by scrolling down the right side of this blog)

Have a wonderful week!

Nails in the fence

Here is another story that someone sent me by email. A great message again!

"There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.'

Show your friends how much you care. Send a link to this blog to everyone you consider a FRIEND and to your family (they need to know that you love them too). You are my friend and I am honored.

P.S. Please forgive me if I have ever left a “hole” in your fence

Attitude

This was from a recent email that was forwarded many times...I like the message...

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins..Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked

He continued, '..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Role Models

Do you have role models?

People who have certain characteristics you wish you could have? I do. In fact I
have several to match all the different interests and goals I have for my life.

Anyone who knows me knows that Oprah Winfrey is one of my role models. I admire her for what she's achieved and how she's achieved it. I admire her character, her contribution toothers around the world and so much more.

Tony Robbins is another role model because of his energy, his passion for
life and his ability to communicate and inspire.

When I was teaching my 'Strategies of Success' class, some of my students were not comfortable withthe idea of a role model. They felt that they wanted to be their own
individual person and not mimic someone else's life. I'm not surethey truly understood how beneficial role models are. I don't want to BE Oprah, I just want to model some of her traits. As Tony Robbins often says, "Success leaves clues."
Why not use those clues and make them fit your life?

Who do you admire? Who acts in a way you wish you could...or has achieved something you wish you had? Your role model doesn't have to be famous. One of my newest role
models is a friend of mine who keeps an impeccable house, something that has always been a challenge for me because I'm so easily sidetracked by other things. But now I put on my "inner Joyce", modeling the way she keeps things organized and neat.
And guess what? Now that I have an 'inner Joyce', my house is neat too!

What do you want to change in your life? Who can you model? You can change the things you want to change if you follow the role models that are all around us...we just have to look and learn.

Marianne

p.s....thanks Joyce...you rock!