I'm thankful every day for having had the chance to learn the strategies I've been learning the past 15 years. I needed them today. Today was the day of the specialized mammogram because they found a spot 6 months ago.
I hadn't thought about it much until the past week. What would this visit show? Would it still be there? Would it be bigger? What was it? What would that mean for my life, especially if it was the worst case scenario? I went through a range of emotions as anyone would do in that situation. And then I stopped. Because I knew that wasn't the best use of my imagination.
Einstein said that the imagination is more powerful than the intellect. I didn't want to waste my beautiful imagination on worst case scenario because I don't now how powerful our imaginations really are....but I wasn't going to take any chances. Instead I focused on a me free from negative medical news. I 'saw' in my mind's eye the nurse saying everything was ok. I pictured myself rejoicing after, doing something fun. I sang on the way there, putting myself in a good mood. I also did some loud statements saying in the present tense that I was "strong and healthy". Seems to be some effect in saying things out loud although most of us feel funny saying positive things out loud. We have no trouble bemoaning what's not right or saying negative things to ourselves. No room for negativity today...all positive... all focus on what I wanted, not what I feared.
When I got there, I grabbed a pad and started writing the words to the CD I'm creating from my last seminar. It keep my mind focused and busy, unlike the last time when I checked all my worldly possessions into a locker and just had my imagination and all the medical signs to keep me company. A wonderful woman named Frannie took me and made me as comfortable as possible considering that part of my anatomy was about to be painfully squished. And then I joined the other women waiting, all of us nervous in our identical blue wrap-around tops. I made a joke or two about us forming a group and then one by one we were called out until there were just two of us left.
And then Frannie called me. "You're ok," she said. "You're free to go." I did a quick "YES!" and thanked her, overcome with the emotion of the moment. Whatever was there before was gone or maybe never was. "Just keep up your yearly appointment," she said. I nodded yes and headed out into the bright December sunshine, relieved, exhausted, exhilerated. I'm so lucky...so grateful.
Whatever else happens this Christmas week, I've received the best gift of all. I'm healthy. All the other little stresses are nothing really. I always knew that. Even the fall I had on the way in (due to my new clogs and my graceful ways) is nothing. Not a scratch on me despite coming down on the concrete.
I don't know the reasons for the miracle. I do know the strategies I learned were there for me today as they always are, ready to change my focus, to see the world as I want it to be. I'm not sure anything is 100% but I do believe they work on a pretty regular basis... so glad I got to learn them all those years ago..and lucky enough to be able to share them with so many others.
Whatever comes your way this week, try to see it in the best light, the way you want it to be. Make a conscious decision not to use that incredible imagination for worry or negativity but to create what Oprah often calls "your best life". It may just bring a miracle or two your way as well...
Marianne
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