Things are not as bad as we sometimes anticipate

I admit it.  As much as I teach stress-busting strategies, I'm chicken to go to the dentist.  I've had some pretty bad experiences there the most recent being a couple of years ago when I had my mouth and nose covered and couldn't breathe.  The dentist and assistant had stepped out leaving me with a thing anchored to my mouth that I couldn't take off.  Can you say panic attack?

Since then, I'm even worse at the dentist. This past week I had an appointment to make a flipper tooth because they're going to pull one out soon.  I was a wreck because I thought I would have to hold this goop in my mouth for a long time to make an impression.  Sounds easy but my brain got wired for fear that day a few years ago and I had to be prepared.  I gathered my usual batch of stress-busting strategies (check them out in my Frazzled to Freedom: 30 Days to a More Stress-Free You program) and valiantly sauntered in.  I was ready.  Know what?  It was a breeze! Turns out the process for this was easy.  Yes, they had to make impressions - 3 of them - but they each took a little less than 2 minutes!  Yippee!

Hasn't something similar happened in you?  You put off doing something you need to do or think would be good for you because you think it's going to be too hard, too expensive, too time consuming.  I did that on a simple scale with the mouse for this computer. I've never been good at the one on the laptop so I've used an external one.  My computer was giving me trouble, jumping around, the mouse not doing it's job.  One day it hit me that all I really needed to do was probably get a new mouse.  Everything changed - this one has a smaller insert into the USB which makes it better for lugging the laptop from coffee shop to coffee shop and everything is now smooth and easy.  Why did I wait?

What are you waiting for?  Is there something you need to do that you're afraid of?  It might not be all that bad once you actually step in and do it.   So gather your best strategies (or use mine) and go! What a feeling once you've conquered yet another demon and worked towards something that matters.

Til then, keep shining!

Reset/Reboot your computer...and your life

Ever want to reset your life? Reboot it so to speak?  Me too.  So I do.  Every chance I can. 

Think of how we're alwasy opening more windows, more apps and more programs on our computers and tablets.   Finally the piece of technology just can't function any more.  It slows down, stops responding (my mother's least favorite phrase) or just plain freezes.  So we reboot, restart, start fresh.

We do the same with our lives.  We keep piling on projects, plans, and errands until we just feel overwhelmed - work, home, kids, homework, classes, computers.  Add a blizzard to that mix, a nice dose of mostly negative news and we too start 'not responding'.


Full freezer after winter storm Nemo

What to do?  Reboot.  Look for an opportunity to start again. I'm using the blizzard for that purpose. Because I lost power for several days, everything in my refrigerator and freezer had to go.  So now except for some bags of ice (which turned out to be good 'canaries in the mines' so to speak since I was away from home during the blizzard and could see that the ice melted and refroze), I have a completely empty freezer and fridge.  I get to start over - clean it and restock it with maybe even better and healthier food than before. 

(Notice that my focus is on what's good about the situation - not the money lost but the opportunity presenting itself as well as gratitude that the rest of my house and yard survived nicely in my absence. )



Clean start freezer

The funny thing is that when you apply this strategy to one area of your life, it tends to affect other areas.  I'm in the 'what else can I clean and organize' mode right now.  I'm asking what else could use a refreshing?  Just the asking of the questions provides all sorts of possibilities.  Our brains are wired to answer whatever we ask.  We just usually ask lousy questions!

So restart the computer, Send those apps jiggling and take advantage of whatever other opportunities show up.  One restart can be just the ticket for getting through this lovely winter!

Enough...

This all takes me back to 1999 when I was a classroom teacher and the tragedy of Columbine.  I felt the same heartbreaking sadness and wonder about what we could do as a society back then.  I remember taking a pen and paper and furiously writing down all the things I had been learning that I thought teens needed so that something like this would never happen again.  I wasn't sure what to do with those ideas other than to weave them into my regular lessons when possible.  But I knew it wasn't enough.  So many kids felt disconnected for so many reasons. But who’s going to listen to a classroom teacher?

A year later, one of my former students hanged himself after being bullied.  I had had enough.  I had to take action.  I ended up creating a program for my school called Strategies for Success because of these 2 tragedies to help our kids not only survive but thrive.  It worked more than I could have even imagined, helping kids find their place in the world, helping them feel connected and valued for who they were.  It’s still running all these years later…in my school and a few others around the country.  But it – or something like it - needs to be in more schools. 

I don’t know if it would have prevented this horrific event but I do believe that it’s needed now more than ever.  The program has won multiple awards both locally and nationally because teens love it and are designing the kinds of lives they want and that we want most for them.  While no one program or law can prevent every tragedy, maybe it’s time those of us who have found workable solutions to help kids got a chance to share what we know. 

Haven’t we had enough?  I’m hoping this time someone will listen to this high school teacher because we need to listen to everyone who has a workable plan. I don't know who reads this blog but if you've had enough, I can help you get this program in a school.  Email me at Marianne@MarianneDouglas.com

As Nelson Mandela said, “We owe our children – the most vulnerable of citizens in our society – a life free of violence and fear.”