Cheering myself up with strategies...

I've had a challenging few weeks, well few months actually.  I've had a hospital visit, toxic house, 4 iPhones, 4 non working printers.  I switched my business around this year from trying to get my Strategies for Success program into high schools across the country which I'd been working on for 6 years to offering seminars.  Same material as in my success program but now for businesses and for my own public seminars.  New marketing, new challenges. 

Tonight was supposed to be the holiday version of my Power of Positivity seminar - full of strategies that everyone needs and claims they want.  Despite my first venture into radio advertising, only 6 people signed up.  Not sure what this all means - are people not interested in being positive?  Is it the time of year?  Are they interested in my seminars at all?  I'll have to dig deeply to find that answer.

Well wasn't that fun to read!  Why did I share this?  Because everyone - except for the people who know me really well - think I'm positive all the time.  I'm not.  I slump just like everyone else.  I occasionally get overcome by negativity - shorter days, cold weather, negative election, all the challenges I listed above.  It's probably why I started learning all of these strategies so long ago - to not only figure myself out but to find solutions to the times when life feels a bit overwhelming.

But that's the good news.  There are strategies...and they work.  I know.  I used about 10 of them the past few days.  And I feel remarkably better.  Like what? I work from home.  Today I took my work out - to Panera.  There I met a mom who was dealing with her son who had a traumatic brain injury from a car accident.  My problems were nothing in comparison to what they were dealing with.  I was able to shift the focus from me to helping her in some small way - by listening.  Strategy #1 - help someone, anyone.

From there I went to the location of my seminar just in case anyone showed up.  I planned to give free CD's from my CD of the Month collection to anyone who made the effort to show up.  Two women did.  I found them in the restaurant/bar and spent about 40 minutes getting to know them.  Strategy #2 - get out and meet some new people.



My cute new slippers and a poinsettia

I shopped a little - for things I needed.  But I made sure to get something small and inexpensive that would make me happy.  Actually I got two things - a poinsettia and some much needed slippers.  Strategy #3 - know what makes you happy.

I breathed, I focused on what I was grateful for, I watched a Christmas special that got me in a joyous mood.  Bottom line is to know what works for you.  It's ok to feel the sadness, overwhelm, or whatever negative emotion you have.  Tell yourself it's ok for feel it for a bit but that you'll be replacing it with things that make you happy later on.  It's what I did and I'm a different person than I was when I woke up this morning. 

Would you like to learn more strategies?  To date I have two completed audio CD's (or downloadable mp3's) filled with ideas to help improve your life.  One is on goal setting and other is full of my positivity tips.  Check them out at:  http://www.MarianneDouglas.com/audio.htm   Or come to one of my seminars.  I'm not giving up...

Happy days!

Strategies for a lovely Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving is upon us and I wanted to share with you some of my favorite tips for sailing through it with as little stress as possible.

As much as we love our families, time spent together in the holiday rush can have its share of stressful problems.  We know our relatives so well. They know what buttons to push to make us crazy, just as we know theirs.  So how best to get through the day?

1. Remember not to be looking for reasons to be offended.  Often a comment made off the cuff hits a little too close to home.  Most likely the person was not looking to offend us.  Even if they were, taking offense raises our blood pressure and leaves them untouched.  Unless we choose to escalate the whole situation.  Is that really how we want to remember the holiday?

2. Focus on what's good about the day, what you're grateful for.  Stress and negativity cannot live in your brain at the same time as gratitude.  Anytime something begins to make you unhappy, find
something, anything that you're grateful for.  And with all that happened with Superstorm Sandy
this past month, so many of us have much to be grateful for.  Remember my favorite Wayne Dyer
quote, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."  Works with cranky relatives too!

3. We humans tend to imagine things either much worse or much better than they actually turn out
to be. Decide in advance it's going to be fine regard less of what it may have been like in previous years. 

Whatever your Thanksgiving is like, remember it's only a day or maybe even a few hours.  We can get through it...if we do our part to bring the best of us to the table...   If all else fails, just breathe and wait it out.  The day will be over before you know it!

Marianne

PS... If you'd like a few more strategies to get through the holidays, join me at my next Power of Positivity seminar Wednesday November 28 at 6 pm at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick.  Go to www.SecretsofSuccess101.com for details and to register. 

How to Leave a Great Vacation/House/Job

I’m sure I’m like most of you when I say I hate to leave my favorite vacation spot. I started this article on the plane as it was ready to take off for Rhode Island. I had a great time this trip and really wish I could stay another month. But I must leave. I have no choice because someone else is checking in and it’s no longer mine to have until next Week 16 in April 2013.

I’m sure it’s not an earth shaking revelation that I don’t want to leave. I mean who wouldn’t want to stay on vacation longer? So how to tear myself away? First of all, stop thinking about what I’m missing and start tuning in to what’s going on around me in the present. I love hearing some Rhode Island accents on the plane, seeing a few Red Sox baseball caps, and hearing people talk about familiar locations. I’m focused on those things right now with a smile on my face despite leaving behind great friends, beautiful warm weather, and a simple little place on the beach. It’s part of my strategy for how to leave – a vacation, a home, a job, even a person.

So using my vacation as the model, I’d like to share Leaving Strategy. It has two parts and they’re based on these ideas that have reappeared many times in my research:
• our feelings are based on our thoughts

• we can choose our thoughts if we decide to become conscious of them

• we tend to get more of what we focus on

Part 1: What didn’t I like about my vacation?
As my time there was coming to a close, I began to deliberately ‘notice’ the things that I wasn’t crazy about - things like stop lights that lasted 5 minutes, a long distance to even the simplest errand, no dishwasher, no DVR for catching my favorite shows and the fact that the weather was starting to become humid, not my favorite. Granted these are all minor things. I can’t even call them inconveniences because I’m incredibly lucky to be able to go there but it’s part of the strategy, so bear with me please.

Part 2: What did I miss from home?

Along with the amenities listed above, I missed my family and friends, the spring that was about to blossom, my comfortable bed, laundry in my house rather than having to ‘fight’ to get the shared washers and dryers, having everything at my fingertips. I wasn’t homesick yet but by thinking of what I missed made home seem more appealing.

The closer the time to leave came, the greater the focus on the two parts. Goodbye humidity, goodbye to the swarm of love-bugs that I knew were coming the next week, goodbye Florida traffic….hello home!

I recommended this same strategy to my cousin a few years ago when she was leaving a house that she brought her children up in to go to a wonderful new one on a lake. She knew the new house was much better than the old monstrosity she lived in but it deserved a send off. I suggested that she make of list of all the reasons she was glad to leave – the horrible stairs, the kitchen from another century (not the 20th even), the single bathroom. I also suggested that she gather her family members on a farewell tour of each room where they could share memories of what transpired there over the years and say a final goodbye.

When they moved into the new house, I suggested they have a welcoming ceremony where they got to focus on all the great new features this house had and where everyone could dream out loud about what their new life would be like.

We can follow the same strategy as we leave a job or leave a relationship that’s not really right for us. It’s all about what we choose to think about. If I sit here and watch it rain outside, I can let my thoughts go back to that sunny beach with regret or I can look at the beautiful flowers blooming outside my window that only show up this time of year with the color of spring green that Florida never has.

And while leaving isn’t easy, it’s something we all have to do at some time. With a strategy at hand, at least the leaving becomes more manageable for all involved giving us the tools to embrace whatever comes next.